Change

Awhile ago, I decided that I needed to read the Bible more. A week or so ago, I decided I should start with the Gospels. However, I was still putting it off, not actually starting. Two days ago, talking with one of my coworkers, he suggested the book of John and told me to start. That night. I read John 1 that night, and John 2 last night, but already on day 2 I almost forgot. This is important, though, I need to keep at it. Ironically enough, just now as I'm reading my book, the author is talking about reading the Bible, immersing yourself in it. I'm not quite to that point, but I'm working up to it I guess. I feel almost half-hearted, working my way up to it, making excuses. I probably need to change this, but I don't know how. I really should turn over a new leaf, start living the life that I claim to live, truly embrace my faith and immerse myself in God's presence and the hope of the Gospel. The problem is, I don't know where to start, what to do, what to change. As a result, I just keep putting it off. I keep saying in there, "this needs to change." You know what? That is not entirely true. What is true is that I need to change. But how to start? And, when? "I can't start this week, I'm too busy." Etc etc etc! It's like cleaning my room; I keep putting it off. I need to change. I don't need to change who I am, but rather in whom I am. I need to focus my life more on Him. But how? When?

Talking about God

Why is it so difficult to talk about God? I can so easily say that "I'm a Lutheran; we believe in the Trinity and infant baptism," but it is incredibly difficult if not impossible for me to say "I believe in God," "I believe in Jesus Christ," or even "I believe" anything. When talking about the Bible, I can talk about the biblical characters all I want, even Jesus as a character, as long as it's in the context of a specific story. However, as soon as I start talking about Jesus as a person or as God, I freeze up. In the same way, it's easy enough to ask people if they go to church and where, and also to answer that question, but is an altogether different situation trying to ask someone what they believe, and even worse to answer that. I can tell people where I go to church and all about what I'm involved in, but I am unable to answer the simple question of "what do you believe?" This needs to change, this needs to be fixed. After all, Jesus saved me. He has given me life, both in this world and forever. I shouldn't be ashamed to talk about it, I should stand certain about the Truth that I believe in.